Les Paul and Lesbian Porn

I like lesbians. I especially like lesbians when they are doing the sex thing to each other. Who doesn't? I was reminded of lesbians doing the sex thing to each other when I heard the news that Les Paul had died. Now, if you think that the connection is the inevitable "Les" joke, you'd be wrong. Let me explain.

Many many years ago, I helped out a fellow human being, and as a result he owed me a chunk of cash. Then I made a discovery about said person, which changed my attitude about him dramatically (he had abused his sister). I demanded my money, and when he didn't pay, I demanded it again, more strongly. I obviously didn't demand it with menaces, as such a move would be illegal. No, I simply asked for it in a loud voice.

It seemed that he genuinely didn't have any money, but offered me his guitar instead. I took it, although I didn't want it. After all, I figured it would be some piece of shit. I took it because I didn't like him, and I figured anything was better than nothing.

When I got it home, I nearly shat when I opened the case. That was how I became the owner of a fucking gorgeous Sunburst Les Paul. I played it a bit, but it spent most of the time leaning against a chair. Moira, the lesbian upstairs from me, used to pop in, but she couldn't play guitar. One day she asked if she could borrow it, just for a couple of days. It was odd as she didn't play, but I agreed, because I liked Moira.

True to her word, she returned it a couple of days later. She also said that she had a surprise for me, and I'd receive it in a couple of weeks. I forgot all about it until the postman delivered me a pornographic magazine. Inside were many photographs of naked ladies, including a number of photos and a badly written story about a lesbian rock star who seduces an innocent straight groupie into the joys of sapphic love. The model playing the lesbian pop star was Moira, and the guitar she was posing with was my Les Paul. In one shot, she was rubbing her flange on its neck. I liked that.

As I have already said, this was many years ago. When I heard Les Paul had died, my first thought was of Moira's twat. Never mind Les, you didn't die in vain!