Let It Rain (please)

Now, being a fan of football and motorcycle racing, with a partial interest in horse racing during the National Hunt season, I always used to think that I pretty much had enough sport to keep me amused. The interesting thing about sport is that there are shitloads of varieties, ranging from the gentle pace of bowls or golf through to the raging fury of a good boxing match. Most of us pick a couple, and then stick with them. Some people pick loads and stick with them all. Few people (if any) dislike every sort of sport.

I know a bloke who would tell you that he does hate every sport that's out there, but on any given evening or weekend he's out screaming around the countryside on a mountain bike. It shows that even those who hate sport like it.

Given that there are so many forms of sport, it always seems a bit odd when 'new' sports come along. On occasions they're simply old sports repackaged, or they're different concepts based upon other sports, such as free-running and base-jumping. In many of these 'new' sports, you find yourself scratching your head and asking why.

Last year, I was in Beijing for the Olympics, and was fortunate enough to be at the final of the Womens' Beach Volleyball. Now, when I say fortunate, I didn't think that from the start. I didn't really want to see it. I figured it would be good for about five seconds, and then be very very dull, with an additional does of dullness thrown in. Indeed, the only reason I ended up in my seat was because I spent the previous 18 hours in a bar, and was too drunk to realise where we were going on the morning of the match.

Now, you have to ask why Womens' Beach Volleyball has never taken off in the UK, and the answer would probably be because of the weather. However, I can assure you all that British weather is just what this sport needs! The day of the final saw Beijing hit with torrential rain. The stands at the arena flooded, and most people were ankle-deep in water. By the grace of Mao, I had a front row seat and so was able to rest my feet on the rail.

I genuinely thought they'd postpone the event, but no. Not a chance. Then it happened. Into the teeming rain came the warm-up act; cheerleaders in bikinis. Now, I don't know about you, but I think their look is enhanced by the rain. Anyone disagree?

So, those sports fans amongst you will want to know what the actual match was like. It was long. It was dull. Long and dull. It was so long. So very long, and so very dull. In a word, it was rubbish. Mind you, with half-time entertainment like that, who gives a toss?