Monday 20 April 2009

Open All Hours

There was a time that the local corner shop was a pivotal part of British society. Every area had two or three shops, central areas had a High Street boasting all manner of traders, and business was good. In the 1970s, the corner shop underwent a transformation, and immigrant owners reinvented opening hours. There didn't seem to be a time of day that you couldn't pick up the elusive box of stock cubes or a bottle of chilli sauce.

Today, the retail scene is slightly different. Supermarkets reign supreme, the High Street is dying, and the corner shop has become a beacon for those seeking out-of-hours necessities. Over-priced poor quality goods and shoddy service has become the hallmark of the convenience store, and many High Streets boast a number of coffee shops and mobile phone outlets, as well as other empty properties.

I for one see this an the inevitable passage of time. Retailers in general sat back with their heads up their arses and let supermarkets destroy them. The average retailer deserves his fate, because he lost touch with the customer. He stopped delivering what we wanted, so we had to go elsewhere.

Let me just make on thing clear here; I hate supermarkets! I find them soulless, empty, despicable places. The staff are generally dullards with no interest in what they're doing, stock levels are random, and the shopping experience is akin to a 1970s Cambodian re-education centre.

That said, I use them almost exclusively. I do buy things at Farmers Markets and the occasional specialist retailer, but as for the High Street, it can burn for all I care. Here's why.

The other day I decided that my memory isn't what it used to be. I keep missing newspapers or magazines I want because it simply goes out of my head to buy them. I made a list of everything I wanted and decided to get them delivered. I visited four newsagents, three of whom refused to deliver, and the final one would only deliver if I also took  daily newspaper. So, that's nearly £50 each month that won't be going through their tills.

I needed some herbs. I visited three greengrocers and four convenience stores. None had fresh herbs. Two greengrocers said they only got them on a Saturday (why I don't know), the other said I had to order them specially, 48 hours in advance! Thanks for that! The convenience stores fared almost as badly. No, no, no and dried parsley or sage. Those where the responses.

Shallots? Don't mind if I do! Did anyone have any? Yes, one of the greengrocers did. I squeezed one to see how hard it was, and my thumb went right through it. It was rotten. I put it back and left the shop. A mere week later I popped in again to see if they had any shallots. They did. They were slightly more rotten, and the one with my thumb imprint was still there. I asked the owner when he would get so more, and he replied he'd stock up when they were all gone. He added they didn't sell well. When I pointed out that they might not sell because they were fetid and unsuitable for human consumption, the stupid arrogant bastard shrugged.

I went to the fishmongers to look at some tiger prawns. I say to look at them because I'm not stupid. He wanted £35 per kilo. I asked why his prices were so high compared to those of the supermarkets. He said it had to do with quality and freshness. I pressed him on the matter and asked to see the bag they came in. What bag? He seemed so innocent, almost shocked. I explained in a nice calm fashion that his prawns had been frozen, and he could either show me the bag so I could check the quality (I do actually know my imported fish) or I could talk to trading standards about his 'Fresh Prawns' sign. To cut a long story short, I could have bought the prawns he had - as a normal walk-in-off-the-street customer, for less than £6 per kilo.

Now, I accept that the demise of the High Street is a negative, but I won't use dried herbs, nor will I eat rotting vegetables, nor will I pay £35 a kilo for £5.80 a kilo produce. A frozen Asian prawn is a frozen Asian prawn. Is a man who lies about its origin really entitled to £29.20 mark up over someone who sells them as frozen Asian prawns?

I bought a loaf of bread from a local shop once. I took it back because it was mouldy. The shopkeeper laughed and said: "You should have seen the cakes I had the other day!"

Mr Sainsburys, Mr Tesco and Mr Waitrose, you can gave my money all day long.

1 comment:

  1. It's very sad but true. Retailers who don't deliver for the customer will go out of business. A very funny posting.

    ReplyDelete

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