Having a Wank

Now, we've all has a wank at some time or other. Some of you will have had one today, or maybe you've had two today. Maybe you don't wank on Mondays, having gone at yourself like a dog with ticks over the weekend. The point here is that wanking is a pretty common trait amongst humans (and monkeys).

David Carradine, best known for his role as Grasshopper in Kung Fu, didn't wank. Obviously, David Carradine did wank (quite a lot), but Grasshopper - being a paragon of self discipline - didn't wank.

David Carradine was found dead a few days ago, in the closet of his hotel room. He had removed the cord used to close the curtains, and had tied one end around his neck, looped it through the hanging rail, and tied the other end to his testicles. He was attempting auto-erotic asphyxiation whilst jollying himself off. He died as a result of that wank.

Like Michael Hutchence, David Carradine died alone, having a wank. When the news was released, we all sniggered at his dirty last few moments on earth.

However, my point is this. Why die alone in a closet of a hotel room trying to wank yourself silly, when that hotel is located in Bangkok? For fuck's sake, he could have got anyone to toss him off, and still had enough spare change for a curry and few cold beers.

As the wise old master used to say: "When in Thailand, get someone else to knock the top off it!"