War; What Is It Good For?

Say it again! Okay, let's face facts. The UK is in recession, we have rising unemployment, industry is grinding to a halt and all politicans are thieving cunts. What do we a need? A bloody good war, that's what. So, who do we fight?

First off, we need a country that can't respond with long range tactical nuclear weapons, so that rules out Russia. Yes, I know other countries claim to have the capability, but only one has the cash to ensure that they are properly maintained, so forget the rest of the sabre-rattlers.

Next, the country should have resources that we can plunder. That rules out Scotchland, Wales and the USA.

Next, the locals should be well known as a bunch of lily-livered cowards that couldn't put up a fight if they were all alone. Obviously, that rules out any of the South Americans.

We also need a country that doesn't have many ex-pats living as UK residents, because we don't want terror on the streets. That rules out the Middle East and Africa.

Also, we want to enjoy noodles through the war, so that eliminates Asia.

Let's face it folks, we all know who we need to fight. The snail-eating poncey Jean-Paul dance-master 'j'taime' fops across the channel.

Let's make Britain Great again.

Let's have a war with the French!