Beattie Got It Wrong

Now, in life, there are times when you sit back and observe, times when you ignore wrongdoing, and times when you speak out and say, 'No, you Tartan ponce, you went and done it all wrong'. That's what I'm saying, today, to Mr Alec Beattie of Clydebank. Now, normally Mr Beattie makes me chuckle, so much so that his blog has a link on these pages. However, the other evening, having been to the other end of a vodka bottle, I figured I'd check out his blog.

Actually, that's untrue. I wanted to watch the Rook sketch by the Two Ronnies, and after seeing that and looking at some dwarf porn, I checked out his blog. What I saw was a post entitled Spot The Evil Bastard, where the challenge was to pick an evil bastard from Mother Theresa, Bob Geldof, Martin Luther King, Claire Grogan, Jesus and Nick Griffin.

Now, we all know that Mother Theresa was a scamster running a lottery swindle, Bob Geldof is a self-serving smug twat, and Martin Luther King apparently went to more schools in the US than anyone ever born of human kind. The lovely Claire Grogan wouldn't let me finger her box, so she's obviously mentally unstable, and Jesus was a lying communist parasite who was invented solely to repress the masses and make them get up early on Sundays. That leaves Nick Griffin, who apparently is the devil incarnate says Beattie (aged 97).

Now, this blog entry reminded me that I had forgotten to watch the BNP's televised election broadcast, so I departed the blog and visited YouTube. This is when I realised that my esteemed but haggis-gobbling colleague (no, I don't know him, it's like a creative ruse to give this yarn some legs) was utterly wrong. Griffin is odious, maybe a snake oil vendor, probably fetid with canker sores on his arse, but evil?

Then I discovered the face (well, voice) of true evil.

Think on this. Griffin pointed out he wasn't racist, but that he wanted to defend us from pig politicians. He pointed out that by dying in wars, the British had earned that right. He reminded us that we were all in this together, the English (hurrah), the Scottish (eh?), the Welsh (no, no no) and the Irish (how the fuck did those ginger-haired craicmeisters get in there?). We (it's that fucking 'we' again) were against the pigs.

He reminded us that our country used to be a good place, a safe and clean place, a place where trains ran on time and doctors cured cancer and ladies had tight chuffs. Then the immigrants came.

Okay, I liked that vision of Britain, although I cannot see that the immigrants destroyed it. I thought it was self-serving British politicians and their tendency to suck-off the EEC that screwed it up, but old Nick seemed so enthusiastic, and then they played some music and showed a battlefield, and the music got louder and I thought that maybe he meant to say, 'fuck the EEC' instead of being a racist fuckwit, so I let it go.

Then he got passionate, the music peaked, and I thought that maybe, just maybe...

Then the broadcast ended, and as the voice-over man reminded us to vote for freedom and the BNP, I heard the dirty cunt sucking spit. I was stunned. I replayed the clip, and listened more intently. It was there again. trust me, try it out yourself. At one point the dirty fucker pauses and you can clearly hear the horrible dirty Nazi bastard sucking the piss-stench saliva out of his dirty fucking arrogant facist mouth.

Now, that's evil.

So, Mr Beattie, when the crown of pure evil is placed upon a head, it must be placed on the head of the BNP voice-over man rather than Griffin. After all, it could have been Griffin's jizz!